I'm not a perfect person
as many things I wish I didn't do
but I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
and so I have to say before I go
that I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
to change who I used to be
a reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
it's something I must live with everyday
and all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
and be the one who catches all your tears
that's why I need you to hear
I've found a resaon for me
to change who I used to be
a reason to start over new
and the reason is you
and the reason is you
and the reason is you
and the reason is you
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
and so I have to say before I go
that I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
to change who I used to be
a reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
a side of me you didn't know
a reason for all that I do
and the reason is you
The song above is by Hoobastank. Am in love with this song and listen to it umpteen number of times everyday. Guys you should listen to this song and the video is even better.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Irony
He stood there with arms wide open and looking towards the sky. It was hard to say whether he was welcoming the rain or awaiting a few answers as if they were to come from above. He liked the way the waves were caressing his feet, washing away the dirt deposited by the previous wave and adding some of its own. It was like dying and getting resurrected in the same moment. He badly wished if it were possible to wipe away the writings on one’s mind and start afresh.
He had convinced her to let go off her past.
He knew that Sagar loved her very much and they had been the best of friends for over 15 years now. He knew that no one could ever love her as much as Sagar did and she would be the happiest woman in the world if she were to marry him. They have had best of times together; they have shared every moment of their lives with each other and it would be poetic justice if they were to be together.
He had convinced her to accept Sagar’s proposal.
He hated playing God. He dint like the power he had, to change people’s lives. It’s a huge responsibility and at the same times a huge burden. If at all he dint knew Sagar and his love for her would he have convinced her to accept his proposal? Wouldn’t he himself…… He just shook his head as if it was futile to think on these lines. Things that are said may be forgotten but things that are unsaid may never be forgotten, had said one of his friends. How true he thought to himself. He knew that he had to let this moment of weakness pass very quickly because he can’t afford to be weak when he had been the symbol of strength for many.
He smiled to himself thinking about them.
The intensity of the rain has increased and he was no longer able to stare into the sky. He lowered his head and looked at the ocean. He loved the ocean right from his childhood. He had always thought that there are so many things that are common between him and the ocean. It’s accommodating nature, its expansiveness, its turbulence, he could relate to these qualities. He was thinking if ever the sky and ocean could unite? Or is it that they are never separated in first place? He dismissed that thought from his mind saying to himself that there is no time for such deliberations.
“Sagar……….”, shouted her voice. He turned back and started walking towards her.
He had convinced her to let go off her past.
He knew that Sagar loved her very much and they had been the best of friends for over 15 years now. He knew that no one could ever love her as much as Sagar did and she would be the happiest woman in the world if she were to marry him. They have had best of times together; they have shared every moment of their lives with each other and it would be poetic justice if they were to be together.
He had convinced her to accept Sagar’s proposal.
He hated playing God. He dint like the power he had, to change people’s lives. It’s a huge responsibility and at the same times a huge burden. If at all he dint knew Sagar and his love for her would he have convinced her to accept his proposal? Wouldn’t he himself…… He just shook his head as if it was futile to think on these lines. Things that are said may be forgotten but things that are unsaid may never be forgotten, had said one of his friends. How true he thought to himself. He knew that he had to let this moment of weakness pass very quickly because he can’t afford to be weak when he had been the symbol of strength for many.
He smiled to himself thinking about them.
The intensity of the rain has increased and he was no longer able to stare into the sky. He lowered his head and looked at the ocean. He loved the ocean right from his childhood. He had always thought that there are so many things that are common between him and the ocean. It’s accommodating nature, its expansiveness, its turbulence, he could relate to these qualities. He was thinking if ever the sky and ocean could unite? Or is it that they are never separated in first place? He dismissed that thought from his mind saying to himself that there is no time for such deliberations.
“Sagar……….”, shouted her voice. He turned back and started walking towards her.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Life !!!
Overcast Skies
Light Drizzle
Lightning
Thunder
Steaming hot coffee
Rocking chair
Smoke
Contemplative mood
Music
Awesome Combo isnt it ?
Light Drizzle
Lightning
Thunder
Steaming hot coffee
Rocking chair
Smoke
Contemplative mood
Music
Awesome Combo isnt it ?
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Can marriage do this?
Ok, this post is about one of my friends in SAP (I work at SAP Labs India Bangalore). He is about to tie the knot this July. Have known him for 4 months out of which, 2 months he has been single and the other 2 months committed. I just want to depict the change in his attitude, pre commitment and post commitment phases. For the sake of protecting his identity lets keep his identity as ‘Mr. V’.
Mr. V – Pre Commitment phase.
Mr. V is best known among his friends as tanker. Let me elucidate the reason for this reputation. When he goes to the pub our man has the capacity to have 8 Vodka shots, 6 Whisky shots and 10 tequila shots all in a single outing, this earned him the well deserved name "Tanker". To complement his drinking prowess Mr. V used to smoke heavily too. He used to be our smoking supplier during training times. Now lets talk about his waking up habits. The bus comes to his place at 8:30 PM, our man happily wakes up at 8:20 PM and makes a run every single day (Am much better I wake up 15 minutes before the bus is dueJ). Our guy also had a crush during the training period which made him to quit smoking for the whole of 4.5 days (Ok if its whole then it has to be either 4 or 5 it cant be 4.5, so lets be generous and keep it on the higher side as 5). After 5 days our man was back to his smoking best. This was the status quo 2 months 12 days 5 Hrs 57 minutes back. Are you surprised as to how I know the exact timing; well it will be clear soon.
End of Pre Commitment phase.
Mr. V – Post Commitment phase.
Once our training got over he was shifted to a different office where as I was in the main campus, so dint have much of an interaction for 3 weeks or so. But a couple of days back I met him in the bus and we got talking. He said that he has quit smoking after he got committed to Ms R. When I asked him about drinking he said that he has got the permission from Ms R to drink once every two weeks (very generous of Ms R , isn’t it?). I asked him whether he needed to ask permission from her, then he replied that he was very happy asking permissions. For sometime I thought that he was joking but I soon realized that he was not. Then our man with the most saintly voice he could conjure up told me that when was I going to become a better person (What he meant was, when was I going to quit smoking and become a responsible person, what the hell, I am a responsible person, smoking doesn’t make me irresponsible.). Then our hero started rambling that it had been 2 months 10 days since he last met her (Now you know how I got the figure in the last paragraph). Now to Mr. Vs waking habits. He gets up at 5:30 and gets ready by 6:10 and gives her a wakeup call, all this because she wants to hear his voice before starting her day (How romantic , isn’t it?). He said that he makes 5 calls to her per day. When I remarked on the phone bills our hero said that he had stopped calling up all his friends hence the bill has not gone up remarkably.
End of Post Commitment phase.
Well honestly speaking I was speechless, I was rather shocked by the change in him. Am not really opposed to his quitting of smoke or drinks but the trigger is what bothers me. Why it bothers me? Well that’s a topic for another post?
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Me Back !!
Was away to Mumbai for a week to attend my cousins wedding. A large post on that coming soon. Lots of things to convey, will positively write the post by tomorrow :)
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