One Band - One Song

Using only song *titles* from one artist, cleverly answer these questions:

Pick a band/artist: MLTR

1. Are you a male or female: The Actor

2. Describe yourself: Sleeping Child

3. How do you feel about yourself: Eternal Flame

4. Describe your ex boyfriend/girlfriend: Angel Eyes

5. Describe your current boy/girl situation: Crazy Dream

6. Describe your current location: Stuck in the heart

7. Describe where you want to be: Final Destination

8. Your best friend is: Strange Foreign Beauty

9. Your favorite color is: Out of the blue

10. You know that: Love will never lie

11. What’s the weather like: Take off Your Clothes

12. If your life was a television show what would it be called: Wild Women

13. What is life to you: Sweetest Surprise

14. What is the best advice you have to give: I Walk This Road Alone

15. If you could change your name what would you change it to: Hot to Handle

Of Relationship Statuses and Traders

Single - A wannabe player in the market.

Married - Took a position and is married to it. Keep feeding in the money to maintain the position because he cant accept his call can be wrong. You need deep pockets for this and hope you dont lose it all on the margin calls.

Engaged - Bought a call option hoping that the underlying will go up in the future. But easily gets fooled by temporary rallies and becomes married to the position.

In a Relationship - Not trading with actual money, using a simulation system.

Its complicated - Dont understand the terms of the contract. Just invests where ever the portfolio manager asks to. Wants to proclaim to the world that he is a player but doesnt understand a thing about the vagaries of the market. Potential to get fucked, huge.

In an Open Relationship - OTC contract, differs from party to party.

Widowed - The position he was married to was either auctioned off because he couldnt make the margin calls or the underlying went bankrupt.

Of Arranged Marriages and Risk Appetites

Encouraged by the response I got on the last note, here comes some more "Geeky" stuff. I got a few private messages calling me a "Geeky loser", but lets not get discouraged by them, shall we? But before I delve into this next "insight", I need to confess that I doubted the accuracy of the tag "Geeky loser". Loser, yeah...but Geeky? So I Wikied (has that term been drafted into English Language yet? if not it should be, because once you google a term, Google asks to Wiki it anyway) the term "Geek", this is what I got: ,/p>

"The word geek is a slang term, noting individuals as a peculiar or otherwise odd person, especially one who is perceived to be overly obsessed with one or more things including those of intellectuality, electronics, etc. Formerly, the term referred to a carnival performer often billed as a wild man whose act usually includes biting the head off a live chicken, bat, snake or bugs."

I dont think I am a peculiar or an odd person. I am just a little passionate about (not obsessed with) intelectuality, mathematics, electronics, finance and economics. Well to my defense all I have to say is I am a Vegetarian (who likes to eat ROASTED Chicken once in a while). I consider myself more of an interdisciplinarian (I think there are enough Is and Ns in there). So Jury is still out on this.

So coming back to the insight I promised, I was having a conversation about marriages (yeah thats what losers do, they talk about it) with one of my friends recently. We were generally disussing about the expectations a man and woman have of each other in a marriage. Then I had a revelation (not too dramatic eh? I thought I would go for the "Eureka" term, but again thought it to be cliched. You know a lot of my women friends tell me that my problem is I think too much, I still couldnt get what problem were they talking about, but again we digress). So where were we? yeah the revelation. I think the type of a marriage a person prefers has got a direct relation to his risk appetite.

The type of the marriage being Arranged, Love or Unmarried. A person who is risk averse would prefer an arranged marriage the same way he would prefer investing in risk free securities or low risk/low return securities. Pretty much all the arranged marriages come with a set of predefined expectations, the way government bonds come with a fixed rate of return. Ofcourse on a few rare? occasions, expectations are not met akin to interest rate environment going haywire, but are generally considered low risk/riskless at the time of entry. Hey even if the expectations are not met, its not like you did fundamental research and calculated VaRs before you bought government bonds, you just trusted the Monetary policy to keep the regime stable, the same way you trust your parents in case of an arranged marriage to find you a "stable" partner.

Now here comes our next set of Investors, my personal favorites - the risk lovers. They just love the rush of gambling. They would do all the funadamental research, look at all the technical indicators and are convinced of a sure bet where their returns would keep on growing. These kind of people would mostly prefer a love marriage, they would love to go through the whole process of wooing/being wooed, going out on dates, fighting the parents, coming out on top (debatable?). The way these investors prefer a high return, their expectations are also pretty steep. How can they be let down, when they have invested so much physically, emotionally and financially? So more often than not these investors are quite adamant and in denial mode. I am not saying they would lose always, just the way some love marriages do seem to work. Another possibility of a "happy ending" is they die young with out reaching the wreckage at the end of the tunnel.

Our third set are the people who want remain Unmarried. These guys are loss averse. They would rather keep their money in vaults and wait to be robbed by thieves or inflation than invest in something. Its a super good philosophy guys, isnt it? you would rather hold on to your chips than sit on a table and play a hand, that way you could never lose. Flash news anti-losers, you can never win either. These guys would sit on a high pedestal and frown on institutions like marriage. "You lowly beings, I dont need you, I am self-sufficient. Marriages and Markets are for suckers, not for an evolved being like me."

Phew I dint realize I had written so much. But whats the use of this wisdom (no? think again!). Well it can be used by Financial Institutions to target right kind of customers for right kind of products. All you need is their view on marriage. Imagine how easy it would be to segment and target. So a Customer walks in, your business intelligence software pops a message "Love marriage", and you are like "Hello Sir, we have these amazing high return products for you sir, with the markets expected to reach unprecedented highs....", there the deal is done. Another customer walks in, another popup "Arranged Marriage", and you are like "Hello Sir, we have some amazing low risk fixed income products, with markets being volatile its the best place to park your money.....", there another sucker falls for it. Some guy walks in, another popup "Unmarried", and you are like "Er...this is a bank sir, where do you need to be?". Imagine how easy business would be.

I need to be paid for this.

Losing My Religion - Cricket

As a kid I was extremely passionate about cricket. I loved watching and playing cricket. I still do but not with the same intensity as those yester years. All my heroes, role models were cricketers. I used to have huge fights at home to get my slot on TV to watch cricket. I used to dream about me raising my bat to a packed stadium or clean bolwing an opponent batsman. I used to relegate my studies, my sleep to back ground to watch a match. The only times I cried as a kid were when Sachin used to get out early in a match. I wept uncontrollably when Sachin got out during the test match against Pakistan in Chennai. I couldnt hold back my tears when South Africa lost to Australia in 1999 world cup Semi Finals.

The only time I ever got hurt was playing the game. I broke my wrist while trying to attempt an acrobatic piece of fielding. I banged by hand into a rusted aluminium door just practising my bowling action and ended up with six stitches. I have been hit on the eye, in the groin, have gone home limping with twisted ankles, swollen knees. Even when I had the broken wrist I still held the bat with one hand and played. For a long time the only news paper pages I read were from the sports section. The only magazine I bought was Sportstar. I used to cut pictures of Sachin and had a scrap book made out of it.Such was the passion I had for the game. It was my life, it was my dream. I always knew that I could never take it up as a career because I knew my talent at the game was limited. But again talent and passion are two different things.

The days on which India Vs Pakistan matches were on used to be much more special. The frenzy used to begin atleast a week before the match. Since those matches were very rare, they used to be savoured more. I used to argue with my skeptical friends who used to think that India and Sachin were no good. Once I even got into a fist fight when some one said Sachin was useless. During the whole week before the match all my thoughts, discussions were full of team selection, what should India do if we win the toss? who will be man of the match? And I could hardly sleep on the eve of the match. During the match itself, you would find the streets empty, you would find crowds gathered around a radio to hear the commentary. Every run used to be cheered, every boundary sent crowds dancing whether at the stadium or at their homes. Fathers and Kids used to be glued to the TVs and moms used to make hot pakodas. I used to go to the temple on the day of the match and pray for a Sachin century. I think when I was a kid I never asked anything for myself from God but I always asked for a Sachin century. I am sure a lot of Indian Middle class can relate to the picture I am painting. The bottom line being Cricket was my religion and Sachin Tendulkar was my God.

Now when some one mentioned that it was India Vs Pakistan match tomorrow. I was like ok. It wasnt even on my mind's radar. I was kinda taken aback at my apathy for the game. This is the game I breathed for 22 years of my life, this was my life's blood. What happened? I think my passion for the game started waning after I got out of Engineering college. Once I started working my interests started to diversify. I discovered my appetite for reading, I was in love with a woman, my thoughts more shifted towards career, what should I do next? whether I should study further or I should work? Does she loves me? The mind was filled with these questions rather than who is going to be the man of the match in tomorrows game. I still used to be glued to the score card on cricinfo refreshing when ever I could, but I guess the change started then.

Its been 5 years since I passed out of college and today I feel I have almost become indifferent to the game. The other day I was watching India vs SL ODI and I watched it for sometime and once Sachin got out I shut the TV and started surfing the net. I dint even know the result until next day some one told me that India had lost the match. I initially thought I had lost that competitive spirit, I some how grew out of this sporting frenzy. But its not true I still watch football and support ManUnited passionately, I love tennis more than ever before. But some how Cricket has lost its favour with me. Is it the reducing attention span with increasing age? or something else? I do not know. But I feel as if I have lost a part of me. The fanatical, passionate, irrationally optimistic me is dead along with my interest for cricket. RIP.

Strange games, God plays !!!

At times I feel, God if he exists is a very sadistic guy. He takes pleasure in humans' miseries. Please dont tell me that He is testing us and also dont tell me when he shuts one door, He always opens another one. He just enjoys inventing new ways to torture his greatest creation, us, human beings. Is it His way of asserting His superiority, reminding us that we are nothing but puppets and He holds all the strings? What about He giving us a great gift of freewill and all? Its all a big farce, nothing but hogwash I tell ya. Dont tell me this is a way of teaching us to be humble, humility is overrated anyway. No wonder so many people lose faith in God at some point of time in their lives. Please dont tell me that the night is darkest before dawn. I am in no mood to listen to such inanities.

What pleasure does He get when He makes one person to love another and the other person to love another? All this marriages are made in heaven and each and every one of us being made in pairs is bull shit. It sounds good to people who have found their "soul mate", what about the man who persued a woman for 3 years, spent one year with her and on the day he tatooed her name on his body, she gives him a call saying its all over? What about the man who is madly in love with this woman, goes out of his way to bring her joy in every way possible and she rejects him for being not interesting? What about the woman who writes poetry for this man, but all he does is let her down every single time? What is it if not being sadistic?

Lets cut some slack here for God, alright? May be as Agent Smith says in Matrix, human beings as a species define reality through misery and suffering. Maybe we are not wired to be happy or contented. We always run behind an elusive dream but never take notice of what we have. Maybe if we become contented and happy, we would realize the futility of life sooner rather than later. Maybe misery and suffering are essential for the survival of our species. Maybe we are destined not to reach the 5th level of Maslow's hierarchy. Maybe the grand scheme is to keep us occupied in pursuing happiness but never let us find it. Because from what I have heard and reason out once you get at the top, there is nowhere to go. You are filled with a huge void and realize that you have spent your whole life, all your energy, made quite a few sacrifices to get here and all that awaits you is this black hole.

If the above is true, Kudos to you God. You are playing the game very well. Maybe since I am a pawn in this chessboard, I am not able to see the holistic picture. But I kind of get the sense of Your choices now. You care for the survival of our species, though I cannot understand why. Arent You bored of us? Because we are bored of You and life. Dont You want to make something else for Your entertainment? What happened to the creator in You? Are You short of ideas or the pleasure of making us squirm too good to give up? Come on speak up, will Ya? Be a man, give me some answers, I believe I am entitled to them.

Deal Breakers !!!

She: You know, I have been wanting to tell you this for a long time. (looking hesitant)
He : What is it sweet heart? (Still not taking eyes off the monitor, playing Mafia Wars on Facebook)
She: I dont know how to say this. I am a little afraid how you will react. Promise me, you wont be angry with me. (sounding hopeful)
He : Come on sweet heart, you know that you can say anything to me. Its been 20 years since we have been together and you are still hesitant to speak up to me. Plus how can I promise not to get angry when I dont even know what you are going to say. (looking quizzical)
She: I know, its a little too much to ask, but for my sake cant you just make that promise. If you promised that you wont get angry I would be more confident about telling it to you because I know that you would keep your word at any cost. (pleading)
He : {Sighs, Oh boy, she knows me inside out} Fine, I promise I wont get angry with you.
She: You are such a Darling, I love you. (looking relieved)
He : So, what is it? (sounding impatient)
She: I believe, I have broken your trust in a big way. You believed that I was this honest woman who means what she says. Who would never lie to you about anything. But I have lied to you and have been living that lie for a long time now. (sounding despondent)
He : What have you done sweety? Is there another man? (raised eyebrows)
She: I know you would easily forgive me if that were the case like you did a few years back. Its much worse than that. I dont know whether I even should be confessing this to you. I dont know what good would come out of it. You would probably even laugh about it, but knowing you I doubt that. But I need to do this because I am having night mares living this lie.(holding back tears now)
He : (Stands up, comes by her side and puts a shoulder around her) Please dont cry now. You know how I cant handle it when you cry. I already promised you I wont get angry. If its troubling you so much, please let it out. It would make you feel better. (sounding concerned)
She: (sobbing) You remember the day (sob sob) when you first met me at my hostel room (sob sob)...
He : Yeah I do, what about that day? (sounding really patient)
She: (sobbing) How you were impressed (sob sob) looking at all the books on the bookshelf (sob sob) and also the IQ certificate framed on the wall (sob sob)....
He : Yeah I remember, it showed a score of 160, what about it sweet heart? It was so long ago, why are you talking about that day? (looking confused)
She: Well, (sob sob) that room was not mine, it was my friend Shruti's room...(sob sob), I never read any of those books (sob sob) and my IQ is 98 (sobbing harder)

(instinctively takes away his arm from her shoulder. Looking shattered. A lot pieces fall in place. Things which have troubled him over the years suddenly start making sense. Why she was never excited when he talked animatedly about this great philosophical revelation he had? or Why she would always uncertainly smile at his jokes hoping that they were jokes? or Why his Kids always got less marks in Science and Maths? He stands up, but still lost in thought)

She: (Sobbing much harder now) Please dont get angry, you promised that you wont. I am really sorry about it, see if I dint tell you about it, you would have never known. I thought it was better late than never to tell you the truth. Can we put this behind us? please (begging)
He : (looking stiffened) How can you do this to me? How will I ever fulfill my evolutionary destiny? (he just got vasectomized a few months earlier, his thoughts already turning towards reversal). Oh my God, I cant believe what I am hearing. All my discussions with you, all the laughs we had together every thing was a lie. I want a Divorce. This is a deal breaker. (storms out of the room)

Vestiges of a dying Romantic

Arms wide open, looking in the eye of rain, going round and round, losing touch with the reality; are these signs of happiness? Even though the pleasure might be fleeting, but I did feel giddy for a moment. Was that because I was happy or because I went round and round? my mind questions. Its been quite some time since I have felt that. I still remember the last time I felt that way, though it dint last for long but it remains etched in my memory. I recall that when ever I need strength, when ever I doubt my capacity to experience joy. I say to myself "Hey, I did feel that !!!", I could do it again some day. This day has been coming for quite sometime. Does it vindicate my existence? Does it pacify all the pain and suffering? Does it justify those lonely nights spent smoking and wishing this day would come sooner than later? These are the questions which i am faced with.

The source of this fountain of joy is again a woman. Why am I not surprised at this? You know, a woman can make you feel that way. If she hasnt already, she will some day, take my word for it. Every man needs to experience this atleast once in his life, that will appease his existential angst for some time. It will serve as a beacon during the nights of utter hopelessness. I am going to such an extent as to say that when life seems futile one can aspire to light that beacon again. There you go, I have said it, thats the meaning of life. But there is a melancholic texture to this joy I feel which is different from the last time. Then I wanted it to last, wanted to do everything in my power to hold on to it like if I let it go I would slip into an abyss. But this time I am aware (more mature? ) that I cannot hold on to it forever, that its fleeting and I am already in an abyss. My desire for it to last still rages. Does it lessen the joy? No, it makes it more precious, more invaluable.

A woman can level you with her eyes you know. She just have to glance at you and you feel your heart flutter. You are aware of every movement of her's. You are overwhelmed with her presence. She grows so big that she fills your existence. You just want to freeze that moment and keep staring at her. You lose sight of everything around you. You are desparate for her to deign in your dreams. You feel a pang of jealousy whenever she flashes that charming smile to another man. At times you look like a fool trying to attract her attention. Ah the joy of being able to feel jealous, the joy of looking like a fool, the joy of feeling vulnerable again, how I missed that all these years. Its like being a child again. This must be return to innocence.

Is that love? What else could it be? You know love is just a word, you can attribute to it any meaning you want to. Its something so personal that at times even the object of your "love" cant grasp the meaning of it. The best thing about it is nobody can take that away from you, like hope. It doesnt even have to be reciprocated. Its like it happened and the way past cant be reversed, the impression it leaves cannot be erased. Nothing or nobody can take away that moment from you. Not even you. The balloon will burst but the consequences are immaterial. The rest of your life can be one big bore but hey, you did experience this moment. You were there, fully soaked in the rain and the happiness. You did feel that high and the rest of your life can be spent trying to relive it again and again.

P.S - If not in Life, atleast in writing.....