Ironic !!!

You ask me where you stand in my life, after you have walked out of it.

You ask me whether you still strike a chord in me, after you have cut all the strings.

You ask me whether I can reach out to you, after you have amputated my hands.

You ask me why can’t you see me after you have shut me out from your life.

You ask me the questions which were answered by you long ago.

My dearest, one can’t suffer the legacy one leaves behind.

Of Radio and Life .

Everyday I have to commute from home to office and vice versa and the only companion I have during that time is my Radio ( apart from the Love Stories i.e ). I always wanted an Mp3 player but never got one but in hindsight it seems to be a good decision. Let me tell you why. I prefer radio to an Mp3 player because there is an air of unpredictability associated with it. With an Mp3 player I choose the songs, I know what to expect and most of the times I know whats coming next (ofcourse i am talking of a player which doesnt have Shuffle capability, but even if shuffle is on I still am limited to a few number of artists and songs), but the best thing about Radio is its Randomness, I dont know what to expect next at times a few stations never give me a clue as if which language the next song is gonna be. The songs and artists are unlimited, you get to meet new artists almost everyday and get introduced to good songs too. With an Mp3 player i can choose the songs i like, I am sure there wont be a song which will make me cringe but with radio you get a good mix there will be times when you will be like aaargh but the next will bring a bigger smile on your face, I guess this goes well with the saying that you need to experience evil to appreciate good. And with radio there are times when you feel like if at all that song comes up it will be great and the next thing you know is they indeed are playing that song and the joy you experience is boundless. I know its a simple thing but it can really brighten ones mood, it can really make one's day. The anticipation, the hope that the next song will be the one which you will love keeps you going.

This preference of mine says something about me too I guess. Its consistent with my affinity towards unpredictability in life. How many times I have thanked heavens for making life unpredictable, what fun would it be if I knew everything beforehand then there is nothing to look forward to but going through the motions. This explains why I like change in my life however unwelcoming it might be. This also explains why there is always a smile on my face even when i am leaving a place I have stayed for years or people whom i love because for me the uncertainty of future is what keeps me going. Tomorrow might be a freaky day, tomorrow I might meet new people, tomorrow I might visit new places, tomorrow I might meet that one special person, this hope makes life bearable and keeps ennui at bay.

Valentine's Day Special

'Will you be my Valentine?' said the Spider to the Fly

I read this statement in one of the blogs and it actually got me thinking. I googled it and read the poem the "The spider and the fly" . It was funny and in the end it had a moral too.

So how my thought process went was something like this. The first thing that came to my mind was who was the spider and who was the fly in the above scenario ? In the sense that are men the spiders and women the flies or vice versa ? Being the equal oppurtunity guy I am, I thought I would argue the case both ways.

Men who claim they are the flies

Ofcourse we are the flies, arent we? Easily duped by that feminine charm, with those lovey dovey faces, with every trick in the world they ever conjured. What choice do we hapless men have ? We have to invent pick up lines, we have to show them that we are different or atleast we need to have a good bank balance if not Hrithik like looks. It gives us nightmares thinking about whats the next move we need to make to make her stay. Am I treating her too non chalantly or am I suffocating her with too much attention. Am I supposed to hold her hand while crossing the road or would she think that I am being amorous. But still the web is so strong that one we are stuck we are stuck for life unless ofcourse the spiderwoman is on men diet.

Men who claim they are the spiders.

Ha ha women, those fragile looking things, those easily culpable species who would lap up any shit we give. They keep dreaming about Mr Prince Charming who would come on a stallion and save them from the dragons of life, but poor little things how would they know that Mr Prince Charming himself is a dragon in disguise - Mu ha ha (evil laugh). We just need to don the role of this guy who listens to all their woes, who provides them the emotional and financial security and they would walk into any trap. Its a men's world my dear f of s and the only place for you women is in the kitchen and the only work they are capable of doing is procreating - Mu ha ha.

Women who claim they are the spiders

Men ? Lol what a joke they are. The whole purpose God created them was to be a toy in the hands of a woman and when she gets tired she can dump them in any garbage can she wishes and play with another toy. You know something - The greatest trick the devil ever played was to convince the world that it doesnt exist. Thats how we have been all the way. We act as if we are subservient to men, we convince them that without them we cannot survive, we make them feel that they are the masters, they are mighty powerful capable of inflicting any hardship on us and trust us these men are suckers for power however virtual it may be. Now you know who the real master is and History stands testimony to the power wielded by us. And the quote 'Hell hath no fury as a Woman's scorn' is definitely not a bugaboo.

Women who claim they are the flies.

You know he says that I am the most beautiful woman he has ever met and he cannot live without me and he would spend his entire life trying to make me happy and he kneels down on one knee and pops up the inevitable quetion every women so badly wants to be asked - Will you marry me ? And thats it we get all teary eyed and say 'Yesss'. What did we knew then that tomorrow the ritual is going to be repeated with another setting and another woman. By the time we wake up to the harsh realities of life we are already devoured. We fall for the same old formula again and again and how we wish we can learn from our mistakes.

So guys here I have been the counsel for all the four cases and you being the Jury pass the Judgement.

Wonder Years

Ever since I laid my eyes on the television series 'Wonder Years', I have been hit with a bout of nostalgia of my own wonder years. Those were the years when I was in college(2000-2004). The people who made those years wonderful were K and R. For me the only times I vividly remember of my days in college were the times I spent with these two guys.

For starters we guys were very different from each other. We were from different family backgrounds, different localities, different schools with different ambitions. K wanted to get into IIT very badly and he is one person I know who deserved to get in there. R wanted to be a doctor. As for me I was just the same as I am now not knowing what I want. But some how we landed up in Electronics and Communication department in SRM engineering college. At times I wonder what would have happened if K would have got IIT and R into a Medical college, how my college life would have been. I am sure no matter what followed it could have never been what it had been.

We guys had some sort of bond, some kind of common frequency of communication which only we would understand, for the rest of the world it was encrypted or unintelligible. I couldnt put my finger on one day, one incident which brought us together because we never realized nor we acknowledged the thing we shared until later. It just happened over a period of time and it was as oblivious to us as it was to everyone else. We used to do everything together (except studies) right from grading the chicks (R was pretty good at spotting things in Chicks which me and K would have overlooked otherwise), playing cricket, watching movies, participating in culturals or having late nite talks.

Our usual hangout place was K's home, we used to play cricket on weekends in the street and we used to fight tooth and nail against each other. We used to call each other names, yell at each other, utter obscenities, we were as fierce as we could be and thats the way we liked it. And it was all forgotten with out any effort once the game got over. K's mom used to serve us some hot energy drink and some dosai too(Yummy). We used to play Uno, computer games, listen to a common play list on K's comp ( we all had our gals ofcourse it was one way traffic but what the hell we dint care about it then), play carroms and then we used to go to a place and have yummy choclate milk. And our idea of an ideal way to spend time was to see Dil Chahtha Hain and we would make sure that it would be only 3 of us. During college tours we used to share the same room and we used to laugh our hearts over things which to others might never seem funny.

There have been various faces I had put on to various people in life but with these guys it was just me. It was so simple to be with them, no pretention was necessary, no fear of saying anything which would hurt them. It was just plain and simple as I always thought freindship should be. The best thing about it was we never had to explain ourselves unless we wanted to. We always gave each other the space and time. People around used to be curious about how come we guys were like the way we were and they used to be surprised when we said that we never called each other up for small talk . Even when we used to meet after a long time we felt as if we had just met yesterday.

Remember in Dil Chahtha Hain when Akshay Khanna says that 3 of them were like that boat which would seek a particular destination and their destinations might be different. I never understood the full implications of that dialogue until much after college. As it turned out our destinations were different. I wouldnt say we grew apart but certainly the communication between us did reduce starkly. When ever we used to meet we would again talk as if we parted so recently. But on these meetings what I also realized was that we were changing. We no longer were what we have been in the past, the differences were subtle but I guess all 3 of us sensed them and accepted them as if it was the most natural thing to happen. Our ways of looking at life, relationships, people, career, success were all different. May be they have always been different may be not but the realization that they were different dint dawn on me until later after college. I woudnt say it made me sad but it certainly made me feel that something was lost. Things were different now and they perhaps never will be like what they were.

Though me and K work in the same company we hardly see each other not because we dont want to its probably because we never took an effort to (which has always been like that) or probably our priorities have changed. As for R he is in a different city from us but we hardly call him up because we have never called each other just like that. When in college if any of our Bday was due the other two used to plan atleast a week before as to how to celebrate it. Now the other day I even forgot the fact that it was R's Bday. Not that he would mind me not wishing him( I would be foolish to think that he would) but that day I thought long into the night as to how did I forget R's Bday ?

Now atleast we meet twice or thrice a year but in the years to come I can hardly hope even for that cos we might be in different countries for all we know. But I am sure of one thing even if we meet once in ten years we would still have a good time as we have always had. I am going to meet these guys today for dinner and I am sure I will have a great time. But nothing can equal the time we had in college, those were the best days of my life.

I am Back !!!

Hello Guys,

First of all I owe an apology to people who expected the Trial part 2 to be posted soon or so I promised. Sorry Guys, had a really important two months and was too busy with a lot of things(more on this later) hence was not able to blog. Anyway I would blog regularly from now onwards unless hit by a writers block (but thats a rare possibility since to be hit by a writers block one has to be a writer in first place and I don think I can call myself that - I am aint being modest here). So guys I am back to fulltime blogging and watch this space for regular updates :).

Ciao for now folks, work beckons.

Avi.

The Trial - Part 1

‘This man must be hanged till death!!!’ screamed the newspaper headlines. This has been a quiet year apart from genocide of 2 million people (This number seems paltry when compared to the last year's figure of 10 million), 5 million youth have been forcefully drafted into the government’s military regime and just 4 countries have been obliterated from the face of the earth. This kind of news has been common for last few years hence nobody raised an eyebrow when they heard that some XYZ country has been bombed by the military forces. But the news today on headlines did create a ripple among the citizens of the country because it was so uncommon.

The story below the headline stated that a man has been arrested on the charges of murdering the most powerful religious head of the country. It was also said that this man is going to be tried publicly and the trial is also going to be telecasted to all corners of the world. The date of the trial was set to be September 2^nd, 2084 i.e. a week’s time from then.

Right from the moment the story became public, hate campaigns broke out through out the country. Demonstrations were held demanding to castrate the killer before chopping his head off, so called peace protests were held demanding to torture the man before being electrocuted, petitions were signed by hundreds of thousands to hang the man without a trial. Even the human right activists campainged that the man should be killed using a lethal injection.It was a busy week for the citizens of the country which hasn’t seen such buzz in recent years.

The man in question was kept in a high security prison with armed personnel guarding the prison 24x7. Nobody was permitted to speak to him or see him. The only person who was permitted to speak with him was the government appointed attorney to defend the man. But the next day news headlines read that the man has refused the defense counsel provided by the government and asked permission to the government to plead his own case. Government happily granted permission because no attorney was ready to take up the case in first place.

On the day of the trial, it was a pompous atmosphere all over the country. It just seemed like a festive season from old days. It was declared a public holiday by the government because they wanted to show the people as to what happens to those who break the law. They had no clue what they were in for...

To be continued …..

I am Wiser - I am 24 !!

Today I turned 24, one more year just flew by. Looking back at this year , I dont seem to be remember much except that I survived. The day has been good till now. Yesterday night 12 o clock , my room mates surprised me by getting me a cake (black forest yummm), then I was kicked in the ass and got a cake pack on my face( and in the hair too). Then got a couple of calls from my friends. After that I dozed off. Today I have been really busy on the phone like never before. I have never got so many calls on my Birthday as I got today. Phew.

The guys at office got me another black forest , again got lots of kicks in the ass and again got pasted over by the cake. It was a sense of dejavu from yesterday's night. Never cut two cakes in a span of 24 hrs before so it was a novel experience considering the amount of bumps too. Thanks everyone for all your wishes, you guys made my day.

One of my friends called me up to wish me. She said I am supposed to make one wish and one resolution for my Bday. She sounded as if it were mandatory. I said I have never done this before. She replied saying that she would wish on behalf of me and asked me to choose a resolution. I said I cant resolve to do something on the fly so I need time. She has given me time till the evening to tell her my resolution. I am still thinking...

Yeah am still at office, not exactly slogging but yeah working. I have given meow last week. Lets wait and watch what happens. Have my fingers crossed.

Thats what has been happening in my life. Will be back to full time blogging soon. So keep an eye over here. Ciao guys.

A Break from Blogging

Hey Guys I am taking a smal break from Bloggin till Nov 19, you know for what rite.

Good Will Hunting.

I wanted to watch the movie Good Will Hunting for a long time now. Finally I managed it last weekend. I knew the entire story of the movie, Courtesy – Musafir. He told me the story once and we discussed about it long into the night. It’s a very interesting movie in the sense that it raises certain questions which I personally found very difficult to address.

One of the questions which me and Musafir did discuss was why should one fulfill one’s potential. I know I am a genius, I know I can do a lot of things which others can never attempt but does that mean that I should fulfill my potential ? Does being a genius should place a burden on me to act like one? What if I do not want to do what I am best at? It’s definitely not necessary that I would always enjoy doing what I am good at.

Have met many people in my life who carry the guilt that they have not been doing justice to their potential. They hate every minute of their existence thinking of what a failure they have been in their lives. Among these people there are two types. One is the type for whom the guilt is society induced and another is the type for who the guilt is self induced.

For the first type the problem is still not huge because they can take refuge in the people who would understand them, who know that success and happiness are relative terms. They would feel perfectly at home among their kind of people. The problem is huge for second type of people, they cannot take refuge anywhere, one cannot hide from himself, can he?

For all the people who carry this guilt, I would suggest you to watch this movie. It might not help you find all the answers but it might give you a hint as to what they might be.

Love Story Continues .....

He saw her again. He couldn’t believe his luck. They boarded the same bus and guess what she was sitting in the adjoining row of seats but at the same level as he was. When ever he boarded the bus he always made sure that he sat by the window seat. But today he was glad to make an exception and took the corner seat and just hoped that some one whom he knew shouldn’t turn up at this moment. Think of the devil and he is there. One of his best friends ‘A’ got on the bus. ‘A’ came right to his seat. Though he was pretending to be asleep ‘A’ had no qualms about waking him up.

‘Abe kya kar raha hain?’ ‘A’ asked.

‘Dikhtha nahin hain kya so raha hoon’, he said.

‘Chal chat mat, andar jaa, mere ko jagah de’, ‘A’ said.

He grudgingly made way for A. Normally he would have been happy to see A because it’s good to have some body to talk to during the bus journey otherwise he would have to resort to Radio and hear Sunaina – Nimma smile specialist. He dint mind the music on the radio but he wished there was less of RJing. Today A was not in a much of a mood to talk and he had no intention to make him talk. On his day A can talk for hours and hours about everything under sun, topics ranging from Pink Floyd to gay rights but today he was conspicuously quiet and he couldn’t have chosen a better time.

Now he had to bend forward to look at her. He was thankful that A had closed his eyes. But to his disappointment she also closed her eyes. He had hoped to catch her eye today and see if he can notice any sign of recognition from her face. But she closing her eyes had its own advantages. He can ogle at her without the fear of being caught. He had never seen her this close before. He was afraid that she might not look as pretty as she did during the road crossing. But he was glad to realize that he was wrong.

She couldn’t have looked more beautiful. There was a childlike innocence on her face. There was absolutely no strain of a hard days work. He wondered what she might be dreaming about. He envied what ever the object of her dream was. It dint matter to him whether it was a man or woman or any other inanimate object. He just wished he could transfigure himself into the object of her dreams.

She was sleeping with her bag on the lap and her head lolled sideways. He cursed the bad roads. There was a faint smile on her face which would be imperceptible for a casual observer. He never thought he could feel this way watching a woman sleeping. He could have sat there all night and watched her.

Today he dint seem to have any luck. There was not much traffic on the roads and he knew that he would have to get down at the next stop. It was pouring down outside. On any other day he would have been staring out of the window in to the rain but today he had a better option.

‘Abe sale uth, apna stop aa gaya’, he shook A.

A got up and rubbed his eyes. A clutched his bag and made way to the door. He reluctantly got up and followed him. He suddenly realized that she should have gotten down at the stop before. He wondered whether he should wake her up but again gave up the idea. Then she suddenly opened her eyes and looked around. She immediately got up and made her way to the door. The bus stopped all three of them got down and found themselves getting lashed by the rain. She coolly took out her umbrella from the handbag and walked away. He had an urge to follow her but decided against it. ‘A’ had already run for cover under a coffee shop. He stood there for sometime and made his way towards A.

Untitled

Questions I mayn’t ask you!


Did your time fly? Did it heal?

Did another bud bloom in your garden later at dusk?

Did another soul caress your stubble and lock that gentle smile in her eyes?


Did every mole of yours tell you stories, like mine did?

Did I become a distant memory that spoiled your days?


Did you yen to unburden your uncontrollable tears on to my bosom, back again?

Did you wish to snuggle up to my neck on those hazy dawns?


Was I the love that you embraced in your juvenility?

Was I merely a passing cloud that retained a soft corner?

Did I become the past that you abhorred to reminiscence?


Did you play the silly pranks we created ever again?

Did your vivacious laughter find its right destination later sometime?


Will I be worthy of a mention in your book about love?

Will you say, ours was everything that love could be?

Will you sing the symphony of our bond on my grave?

Will you stroke my hair once before fire engulfs the me that was always yours?


Time didn’t heal. The sun didn’t rise.

Never again for me.


Questions I’m dying to ask you!

This piece was written by one of my very good friends. She can describe any emotion so beautifully, there are times I wish I can write like her. This was a piece written in extreme pain. Why is it that best pieces of art come out when people are in pain?

Mumbai Rocks!!!!!

Was in Mumbai for past one week. Phew!!! That city truly rocks. I went there to meet few of my cousins and sort out certain family issues too. I flew for first time in my life and it was a decent experience. The only bad thing about the journey was the tea. They gave me around 250 ml hot water, a tea bag, one small sachet of milk powder and one sugar sachet (that’s all I normally have 3 sachets of sugar – I know I know its too much but I like it that way). I mixed them all and it tasted like anything but tea. What did I expect from Air Deccan? Huh. I make great tea, you don’t believe it? Ok good tea even my mom says that.

So finally landed there, of course half an hour late. I find all the roads are wet, not stagnated with water but just wet. I was really happy to see that it hadn’t been raining helter-skelter there. And during my entire stay there was not much of rain, atleast it dint hamper any of my plans. And to top it all the moment I got inside the train while coming back its started pouring down. :)

I had 3 of my cousins giving me company all the time. First of them Jinus –He had finished his Engineering and doing computer hardware business, he is a cool dude, knows how to have fun. Second of them – Zarna – She had finished her BPharm this year and looking for jobs, she is one of her kind, extremely lazy (after all genes you see) and extremely smart. Third of them – Zenith – He is in his final year of BCom. He knows all the good places to hangout, Lanky dude and we share the same passions in sport. Awesome people to hangout with. Had loads of fun with you guys. Thanks a lot for everything.

We had a Maruti Zen at our disposal. We went to a variety of places – Mocha’s at Churchgate, Phoenix at Lower Parel, Cosmic at Khar, Spice and Flavors, Nuriman Point, Reclamation, Worli Sea view, Ayub’s for Paneer Kati roll, Bachelor’s for Juices and Ice Creams. Every one of these places had something good about them. I thoroughly enjoyed each of them. Had lots of Hookaah too ;). Hookaah had become a new fashion in Mumbai, every eat out or a coffee shop has to have it. The people in the city know how to have fun. The night life of the city is great. Inspite of many bomb scares people still thronged the streets. They never let go of an opportunity to celebrate.

Three cheers to the spirit of Mumbai.

P.S – Today is one of my Best friends, Kripa’s Birthday. Happy Birthday dude. Have a blast.

Snapshot of my mind!!!!

I was tagged by Musafir to do this tag. Buddy you asked for it, you get it :).

I am thinking about -

Whether the code I wrote would work fine or not? (Trust me if it doesn’t work fine I am in deep shit) and how futile ones existence is?

I said -

F%^& reservations!!!

I want to -

I want to start my guitar again, listen to a lot of music and read a lot of books. I want to travel a lot. Want to be a nomad for life.

I wish -

I were not born in this era.

I miss -

Nothing :(

I hear -

Voices inside my head. Absolute cacophony in there. The irony is they can’t be shut by closing my ears.

I wonder -

Will I ever discover what I want to do with my life?

I need -

I wish I knew that.

I regret -

Not making the best use of my time. I waste so much of time in watching stupid things on TV which I could invest in something productive.

I dance -

In the rain, in a party when ever possible, never miss a chance to dance.

I cry -

Not my cup of tea. What’s the whole point anyway?

I am not always -

Objective.

I make with my hands -

Funny shapes which seem funny only to me.

I write -

When I am in the mood, mostly in the nights when there is nothing around, except me and my thoughts.

I confuse -

Push and Pull sign on the reception doors in my office.

I should try -

Writing a poem.
Reading old classics.
Practicing my guitar.

I should finish -

I have hardly begun.

I know -

How can I measure it There is so much I know and there is so much I don’t.

I am -

Self conceited, Pseudo-Objectivist, Self – Sufficient, A bundle of contradictions.

And finally -

I am tagging a few more people to do this tag - Soliloquist, Mocking Spirit, Neha, Saira, Samudraa

Love Story ?

It was just another mundane Monday morning (it alliterates!!!) after a languorous weekend of sleeping, eating and more sleeping. He wondered whether there is excitement surrounding everybody else’s lives or is it that grass is always greener on the other side. He as usual got up late, knew was going to be late to the office and also knew that he was going to miss a meeting. That thought dint trouble him much but what did bother him was the extreme boredom he had been inflicted with. He managed to drag himself out of the house and was on his way to the uninviting office.

He had to cross a road to reach the bus stop and every time he thinks of crossing that road he just wishes that the signal is red so that he doesn’t have to wait. It’s a simple wish at times it gets fulfilled at times it doesn’t. Today it was not to be. When ever he is stuck in such situations he bides his time by watching people around him. He likes doing that. He likes to read their faces and surmise what is going on in their minds. There is a whole gamut of emotions he notices - excitement, boredom, irritation, anger, preoccupation etc.

He saw her. He couldn’t have missed her rather. She was on the other side of the road waiting the same way as he was. He remembered the phrase “thunder bolt” from the book The Godfather by Mario Puzo. He just couldn’t help himself staring at her. He glanced at the signal timer, 156 seconds to go before the signal turns red. Then as he turned back towards her, he caught her looking at him. She looked away immediately.

He looked at her more closely now. She was wearing a black designer salwar with white print on it and a white bottom and a white chunni. There was nothing flashy about the dress probably he would have seen thousands of women wearing similar ones but never noticed. But looking at her wearing it, he felt as though it was tailor made just for her. She wasn’t wearing much make up either, he had always hated women wearing make up especially lip stick. Her lips were of perfect size not too big not too small and had a perfect shape too. There was a mole above the upper lip towards the left side. He had seen moles defiling faces before, but never seen a mole embellishing a face as it did in this case. Her nose was ok, in the sense it dint draw any particular attention. The timer showed 129 seconds.

His gaze now shifted to her eyes. His first impression was they were unreal. He had seen many eyes before (his own included in the mirror), that’s the first thing he notices when he meets or sees a person because he had always believed that eyes cannot belie one’s personality. Her eyes were all and nothing at the same time. They were like a mirror which shows you nothing of its own but only reflects. They were like a hologram which when viewed with different angles show different pictures. You can find joy, angst, love, hatred, indifference absolutely anything depending on what you want to see. He was so lost in her eyes that he dint notice her looking straight at him. He looked away from the eyes that were keeping him in a trance hoping to break the spell. The timer read 93 seconds.

He knew it wouldn’t be long before he would look back at her. When the timer read 80 seconds he casually turned in her direction. To his surprise she was still looking straight at him. She was taming the one strand of hair which had gone wild in the pleasant morning breeze. She had short hair which suited her face. She refused to look away this time. He was finding it very difficult to categorize the kind of look she was giving him. It wasn’t of pleasure that she was attracting looks, neither it was of anger that some guy was rudely staring at her nor it was of indifference for he fully knew that she was looking at him. He looked at the timer which read 48 seconds. He had never been curious as to what other people thought about him but it amused him when ever they told him what they thought. But this time he was curious to know what was she thinking about him. He would give anything to get a snapshot of her mind at this moment.

He knew time was not on his side. It wouldn’t be long before they crossed each other and would be gone forever. He thought of giving her a smile perhaps if he had any luck she would smile back and he wanted that picture to remain in his memory forever. But again he was apprehensive what if she finds his smile to be rude and change her look to some thing disgusting and he didn’t want that image to remain in his memory. When he was pondering over his indecision he saw movement on his side and the timer read 178. When he looked back at her she was already moving towards his side of the road. He too reluctantly moved ahead. When they were a couple of yards away from each other their eyes locked and he felt as if she was smiling though there was barely any movement of lips. He smiled back. They crossed each other. He looked back. She didn’t. He looked up at the heavens and thought to himself if God ever existed he must be a romantic.

P.S – This was guy’s side of the story. If some body wants to attempt the Girl’s side of the story go ahead and do it and I will post it on it on my blog with due credits.

Update (31/07/2006) - Soliloquist had written the Girl's side of the story, you can read it here

Pink - Part 2

“Hi Avi!!!!” And there she was all teeth. It’s very difficult to describe my first reactions when I saw her the way I saw her. She was all pink, literally!!! She was wearing this pink overcoat; I don’t remember properly the color of the top over which she wore the overcoat. She wore a knee length pink skirt and also pink sandals and she also carried a pink hand bag. I guess she also had this pink clip or rubber band to keep her hair in place. Its not that I hate pink or something but too much of anything is not going to keep you in pink health. This is the ninth time I have used pink inclusive of this sentence. Phew!!!

I mean these days pink is kind of a revelation. The other day I was reading this article in Metro Plus (it’s a supplement of Hindu news paper) about how pink is dominating the pack of colors. The article had this picture of Saif Ali Khan from Salaam Namasthe movie wearing a pink brief. The article spoke about how pink was considered to be a feminine color and only the likes of Govinda used to wear such colors in movies. But these days pink is recommended color whether you are going to a job interview or on a blind date. The reason given by the article was that pink reflects the sensitive nature of a person. It also said that you would improve your chances of your success if you wore pink. I say its holy crap. Anyway we digress from the topic.

“You are looking really pretty. “ I told her. She was all teeth again and I guess kind of blushed too if I remember correctly. “Where do you want to go?” I asked her. She was like you tell me. This is a big problem for me. I mean if she wants to shop then I am under the presumption that she knows where she wants to go. I was like your wish you tell me where you want to go and we will go there. Finally we went to the crossword (it’s a book store on Residency road). She got a pen for her best friend which had something fluffy at the back and yeah it was pink in color.

Then we had a really strange argument. She said she always gifts a person what she wants to and not sparring a single thought as to whether the other person likes it or not. I told her that I actually gift a person what he/she did not already have and what he/she would love owning it, that’s how my thought process works. She was like I will gift them what I want them to own. She said “for e.g. my brother doesn’t like T Shirts and never buys them hence when ever I buy any clothes for him I always buy him T Shirts so that way at least he would wear them.” After some amount of arguing we finally agreed to disagree.

Then out of the blue she said that she wants to buy something for me. She asked me what I wanted. This is another big problem for me. It’s a tricky predicament when somebody asks you what gift you want. There are thousand and one things which come to your mind but you can’t just tell some one that this is what I want for a gift, at least I couldn’t. So I asked her why she wants to buy a gift for me. She said for your Birthday dumbo (it was my birthday couple of weeks back then). After some time I knew I have to choose something for a gift. I asked for a couple of books to the shopkeeper and he said they were not available. I breathed a sigh of relief and told her probably some other time. She reluctantly agreed. She said we will go to Commercial Street to shop for clothes and we were on our way.

To be Contd…..

Pink - Part 1

There is this Gal in my company whom I met first during my training days. I was new to Bangalore during those times and the weekend after we got our first Salary she asked me whether I can accompany her to shopping precisely clothes. Being a ‘Mr. Nice Guy’ types (then) I agreed to go with her.

Before describing the course of events that took place on that day, I would like to describe the way I shop. Before going to shop for clothes I would decide exactly what I am going to shop. I would decide that I want 3 shirts of so and so color whether short sleeved or full sleeved and so and so trousers to go with them. I would decide how many of these trousers are going to be Jeans, Casuals and so. So when I enter a store I would just ask for those things and the moment I realize that these are what I want, I would buy them (of course after keeping an eye on the price).So my shopping lasts usually for about ten minutes that too if there is a queue at the cash counter. My best pal Rajesh would beat me here.

So we decided to meet on Brigade road in front of Mota Arcade (It’s a Mall on Brigade road) at precisely 11:00 AM (Those I days I used to wake up early by 10 AM). Another bad habit of mine is I never follow the Indian standard time of being half an hour late but she did. I don’t mind waiting too much but I definitely mind waiting on Brigade road that too on a Saturday. (It’s a pain to wait there, it’s too crowdy, too noisy for my liking). Besides the crowd, noise and pollution a gang of Chinese women were eyeing me – you know what I mean. I tried calling this female to know about her whereabouts but half the time it said Network Busy and the other times it said User busy.

Finally I get a call from her at 11:35 asking me where I was. I was very tempted to say that I was at home sleeping and actually escape from there before she turns up but you know being a ‘Mr. Nice Guy’ types has its share of problems. I said very politely that I was at the place agreed upon (without a hint of frustration). She says she is stuck in the traffic jam hence she couldn’t come on time; I was very tempted to tell her that being two weeks old in Bangalore I knew what Bangalore traffic was like and she leading all her life in Bangalore should have known better and started early but you know being a ‘you know who’ I told her that its not a problem at all. Finally she says she will be at the rendezvous point in another 2 minutes and hanged up.

The 2 minutes became 15 minutes. See when some body tells you that they will be there in 2 minutes you are mentally prepared to see them in 2 minutes and when 2 minutes become 4 minutes and then 6, 8 and 10 you slowly lose the expectancy factor and when finally the person turns up you act as if you never expected to see the person. That’s what happened when she finally turned up at 11:50AM. By that time the Chinese Gang also gave up on me and left to look at other avenues I guess.

“Hi Avi !!!!”

To be Contd…..

D-P Ratio !!!

Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls and children of all ages, you are extremely fortunate to be reading this. I am going to introduce you to one of the most phenomenal tools ever discovered in the history of mankind. This going to change your life for good. You are never going to be the same again. Here I bring it to you the chosen ones - “D-P Ratio “.

Ok enough of publicity stunt. Am I not good at marketing? No? At least I did a good enough job of holding your attention till now which most of the TV commercials never manage to do.

So what is all this hype about D-P ratio? Let me explain it in Detail.

D-P is an acronym for Desire-Potential. D-P ratio can be calculated for every action of ours be it the job we do, the games we play, the relationships we are in, the subject we study etc. Each of our action is characterized by these two parameters Desire- How much we want to do a particular thing? Potential – How good are we at doing it?

Have you ever wondered why do you hate what you are doing? Why are you not able to do what you want to do? The answer ladies and gentlemen lies in D-P Ratio.

Let me explain further. For example consider me. I sit and do coding all day although I am not particularly fond of it. Hence here my desire for coding is less (say 5 out of 10). But I am extremely good at coding (say my potential for coding is 9 out of 10). Even though I may hate doing what I am doing but since I am extremely good at it I am not doing that bad in life (by whose standards? By societal standards. Not mine). Here my D-P ratio becomes 5/9 which is approximately equal to 0.56.

Now let’s consider this case. I very badly want to be a singer. Here my desire is say 10. But I am very bad at singing (ok not very bad but yeah a bit bad ;)). Hence my potential of becoming a singer is very less say 2. Hence my D-P ratio for becoming a singer becomes 5. If I were to choose a career as a singer, I am going to end up with a screwed up life.

Hence the ideal D-P ratio for any action should be 1. If it is equal to 1 then you would love doing it and at the same time you would be extremely good at it.

So to summarize:

If

D-P Ratio is 1 – Just do it. There is nothing like it.

D-P Ratio is < 1 – You would be good at it but you may actually not be happy doing it.

D-P Ratio is >>1 – Though you love to do this but you are not good at it. So it would be foolish to keep doing it-look for a change over or look at ways to improve your potential and bring down your D-P ratio.

This concept is applicable to every action of ours. So guys thank me for introducing you to such a life changing ratio (Ok I am back to my Narcissist best). Reap the benefits of this ratio. I am not demanding any royalty for it (as if I am going to get ;)). I would be happy knowing if at least one of you benefited from it (ok Avi don’t become senti now ;)).

And yeah before anybody can plagiarize it I am patenting this ratio. ;)

Random Thoughts

He was sitting in his rocking chair with one hand on the trigger of the semi automatic and the other hand holding an unlighted cigarette. He had been fired this morning from his job for not adhering to the policies of the organization. As the thought crossed his mind an indifferent smile appeared on his face. He should feel dejected but he was not, he should be angry for being fired for absolutely no fault of his but he was not, he should be gritting his teeth and plotting revenge but he was not. “What’s the matter with me?” he said to himself.

The room was pitch dark, all the curtains down, all the windows shut. He preferred darkness. It just gave him a sense of safety. He felt that nobody can see his pain, nobody can read his thoughts. He can see what he wants to see. He can create a rational world of his own. He doesn’t want to see what light reveals. He doesn’t want to see the ugly face of the world he is currently living in.

“Why the fuck am I alive? “, the frustration was apparent in his voice. Why can’t I just end it all right now? , just blow my brains out, what difference is going to make to anyone? Nobody would give a damn if I die right now, in this very second and why anybody should care. It’s been one hell of a ride since the day he had realized how futile one’s existence is. He had wondered since then, realizing what he had, can one just go on leading a “normal” life? Can one believe that his life had a purpose and his goal in life is to achieve that purpose? “If such a person exists, just show up and reach out to me and make me believe that it can be done ”, he yelled in a pleading tone.

All these days what had kept him from taking his own life had been the hope that it may be possible to lead a “normal” life after knowing what he knows. Maybe he is missing something, which he may realize at a later point of time. But today had been a bit too much. He just wants to end all this agony right then.

But then again he decides against it. Is it the hope or the fear of death he cant say, but he just could not bring himself to commit suicide. He pulls the trigger of the semi-automatic and lights the cigarette.

Tete-a-tete with a Mallu Gal

This is a lunch conversation I had with a colleague who is from Kerala. The conversation some how shifted to Malayali Kutti ;).

She : So you would marry a Mallu gal ?

Me : Yeah! Why not if I like her ?

She: So religion, state and language not a problem for ya ?

Me : Nope not a problem at all. I am an Atheist -so religion no problem, I am a Human - So state, country not a problem and Love is the universal language - so language no problem.

She : So you dont believe in God (with absolute disbelief on her face) ?

Me : Nope, I dont. Do you ?

She: Ofcourse, what kind of a question is that ?

Me : So why do you believe in God ?

She:(Silent)........

Me : Tell me why do you believe in God and make a believer out of me.

She:(Silent).......

Me : I am giving you a chance to convince me that I should believe in God.

She:(Silent) If I tell you why I believe in God , then you will believe in God and make other people non believers.(She walks out with her plate )

Me : $%^&*

Can anybody explain me what her last statement meant ?

The Reason - (3:52)

I'm not a perfect person
as many things I wish I didn't do
but I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
and so I have to say before I go
that I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
to change who I used to be
a reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
it's something I must live with everyday
and all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
and be the one who catches all your tears
that's why I need you to hear

I've found a resaon for me
to change who I used to be
a reason to start over new
and the reason is you
and the reason is you
and the reason is you
and the reason is you

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
and so I have to say before I go
that I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
to change who I used to be
a reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
a side of me you didn't know
a reason for all that I do
and the reason is you

The song above is by Hoobastank. Am in love with this song and listen to it umpteen number of times everyday. Guys you should listen to this song and the video is even better.